Day 10 : Traditions & Thanksgiving

Nov 24 - We spent the day right at home - Chee Sun & Beatrix's home, that is. We truly enjoy the comforts of their home and the generous hospitality. Still, our cravings for home took the better of us ... that's when we pulled out our emergency "ration" of ... tom yam instant instant noodles! Now, I know why there is a China town in almost every major city in the world. So much of our culture is tied with our cuisine.

Pictured above is Rev Tan (Beatrix's Dad) - he has been such a tremendous testimony of faithful support for the wife who is currently in hospital. Every time I converse with him, he is overflowing with gratefulness to the Lord for the miracle of everyday living - persevering in faith that all things work for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (Roms 8:28-29). Praise God that Mrs.Tan is expected to be discharged sometime middle of next week. This is indeed a season of Thanksgiving.

Day 9 : To Shop & To Savor!

Nov 23 - Aah, we now get the time to do what tourist would do - to shop till we are hungry enough to drop & devour! In this case, the place we shop in was Walmart - boy, this to me is the best place under one roof for Asian bargain hunters! My two daughters would have loved to venture along the "arts & craft" aisle at Walmart - after we were done (with a lighter wallet, I might add), six hours had already gone by ... isn't love a wonderful thing? No wonder, 7 years were like 7 days to Jacob when he was in love with Rachel.

When evening came, we were drawn to the neon lights of Krispy Kreme - signalling that the hot-melt-in-your-mouth doughnuts are now ready for consumption! Once again, we have our fellow Malaysians - Chee Sun & Beatrix to thank for using their noses in getting us the best dough in town. And yes, they do really melt in the mouth. Amazing stuff. This would be heaven for little Eunice...

Day 8 : A Refreshing Sabbath

Nov 22 - This signals a change in our trip schedule as we embark on the more "personal" portion. It is truly a divine appointment as Chee Sun and Beatrix lives just about 90 minutes away from where we attended the Leadership Parenting Coach training in Gastonia. We attended the Christian City Church (C3) in Greensboro and were truly overwhelmed with the fellowship and warmth shown - the caramel and hazelnut latte certainly helped! In addition, an angel called Nana Cashman (92 years young) came and showered us with such a warm and glorious hug that we cannot but feel so very welcomed! Such is the bond we have in Jesus Christ - no matter where we are, it is the Lord that binds our hearts together in joyous fellowship.

The fellowship continued on in a Mexican restaurant with Chee Sun, Beatrix, Scott and Lori - wonderful stuff - it was a real treat as we were starting to show the symptoms of "where-can-we-find-spicy-Malaysian-food" syndrome! Thank God for providing the cure just in time. We had a double treat when Beatrix whipped up an Asian dinner for us and it truly is wonderful to be tasting rice again! Speaking about treats, we were privileged to be guests at a 4-hour parenting seminar by John Rosemond (who else?) at the Jamestown United Methodist Church - great to be hearing the leadership parenting message all over again. One time is for sure, we can never get enough of the principles that are based on the timeless principles of the Word of God. Scripture is alive and is sharper than a double-edged sword (Heb 4:12). Amen.

Day 7 : Leadership Parent Coaching 3

Nov 21 - This the final day of the Leadership Parenting Coach training. Although most of what John shared can be found in his books - it has a more "convicting" effect when it comes straight from the horse's mouth! Furthermore, the interaction with like-hearted folks (like Liz, who is already a grandmother!) just warms our heart and gives us the added impetus to carry on the Leadership Parenting vision when we return. The past 3 days of training was not a matter of methodologies as it was about the way parents ought to think. Right thinking leads to right behavior.

Day 6 : Leadership Parent Coaching 2

As you can see, most of the Parent Coaching attendees are women! Now, what does that tell you about the general state of parenting - it is the wife/mother who wants to change things at home. My prayer is that they do not do it alone. I am so privileged to be able to come here with Wai Bing and I just so appreciate her presence and commitment to parent as one flesh. 50% of issues related to parenting would be resolved if the couple starts off from the position of a strong marriage. Without marriage as the center of the family, parenting becomes tough and divisive. Without Christ as the center of the marriage, the marriage itself becomes rough and antagonistic.

Day 5 : Leadership Parent Coaching 1

Nov 19 : This is Day-1 of the Leadership Parent Coaching Session. After 3 months of planning, we are all eager to start! The small number of participants allowed for ease of conversation and it was refreshing to interact with like-minded parents who are not afraid to go against the "postmodern parenting psychology" of our day which creates child-centered families and micro-managing parents. In this age, the need to equip parents to think right is so critical in a world which constantly bombards us with humanistic and ridiculous philosophies. John Rosemond's call is a call back to tradition, back to the time when parenting was just something you do (with your heart), not something you analyze or philosophize about (with your mind).

Had dinner at the Lotus with Liz - fantastic salad, shrimp & crab cakes! About Liz - although a grandmother, she still has the passion to be a leadership parenting coach. Now, that's inspiring!

Day 4 : First Meetings - John Rosemond & Richard Daly

Finally, after close to 3 months of "skyping" with Richard Daly, we met for face-to-face for the first time over breakfast at the Fairfield Inn where we're staying. There were so much story-telling and conversation that our breakfast lasted 3 hours! Then it was time to meet up with the guru himself, John Rosemond for lunch. Guess who was the extra, unexpected guest in the car - Macy - the adorable dog! One thing which struck us was John's oft-repeated phrase - "How can I help you?" Now, that is a great start to a working relationship where we begin to flesh out the details of what it takes to bring leadership back to the family. We certainly look forward to the formal parent coach training which will start tomorrow.

Day 3 : Sleepy in the Inn.....

We made a "sleepy" mistake - after spending the first half of the day walking through the Westfield Shopping Center, we came back to the hotel - looking forward to a leisurely afternoon in conversation but a sudden "ton of bricks" hit us on the head and we ended up taking a 4-hour nap! Oh boy - did that upset our body clock! Good thing we had extra instant noodles with us to see us through dinner. Hopefully Day-4 will be better!

Day 2 : Arrival in Gastonia, North Carolina

After 30+ hours of travelling, waiting, conversing, eating, sleeping, dreaming, visioning and reading (Eliza "forced" me to bring along one of her favorite books - The Mysterious Benedict Society - to read. Found myself caught up in the plot!) ... we're finally here in Gastonia, North Carolina. Right now (11.38pm here) cannot sleep-lah.... hopefully, can get over the lag by tomorrow (which is free and easy) before the meeting with John Rosemond starts on Nov 18. Had makan at the Texas Roadhouse which serves great half-slabs! This place has free "kacang" and you can just simply throw them all over the floor - similar to the Roadhouse Grill back in KL.

On a more meditative note, I spend the majority of my time on the plane going through this excellent resource called "Life Purpose Planning" - a wonderful workbook for crystallizing God's purpose in one's life. Without addressing the issue of purpose, the activity of goal-setting is meaningless and lack the conviction for complete follow-through. Perhaps this two weeks away will provide that time for Wai Bing and myself to build a stronger sense of purpose for the future.

Day 1 : En Route from KL to US

Well, the day is finally here for us to embark on an exciting phase ahead as we take the next step towards "formalizing" our parenting training courses. Instead of going through the toil of developing our own materials, we are grateful to be invited by John Rosemond for his Leadership Parenting Coach certification program in North Carolina from Nov 19-21. Who is John Rosemond? So, here we are - grabbing big bowls of noodles at KLIA before taking the 9.45pm flight (Nov 15) to Singapore - on transit to North Carolina. Once, we touched down at Changi Singapore, we were "gloriously" greeted by real sunflowers planted at regular intervals along the travelling escalator. Interestingly, for Wai Bing's birthday this month, she received sunflowers as well... not to mention that sunflowers were our "official" flower for our wedding photo shots 13 years ago! Isn't this amazing?

As I'm typing this, Wai Bing is fast asleep, while I am sipping my latte (it is now 3.25am) - waiting for our connecting flight via Narita, Japan on United Airlines. These past 2 weeks have been really hectic for the two of us - differing schedules and activities - we are looking forward to these 2 weeks ahead to reconnect and seek the Lord afresh for directions in the new year ahead and beyond. One thing is for certain : we believe the Lord has called us to the marketplace and ministry of transforming the society through equipping the family.

First Parenting Workshop in Singapore

We had our first parenting "workshop" in Singapore about on August 30. It was a humble beginning - a casual get together at my brother-in-law's home. We had such an active discussion on topics such as co-curricular activities, exercising authoritative leadership, the need to put our marriage first and steps to build character. For those of us with kids who are 12 years old and below, this is the season of leadership - if we do not take ownership of our kids during this period and end up "outsourcing" them to other so called child-development activities, do not be surprised if you find yourself living with teenagers who are physically with you but the heart is a thousand miles away. For more articles and podcast interviews, click here for my parenting-specific blog.

The Process of a Conclusion

As the spiritual head at home, I have a tendency to communicate conclusions. What do I mean? Conclusive Communications is a method of delivering the result of my thinking to my children without helping them to go through the hard work of processing the necessary "logic research" that will make truth personal. That to me is the greatest danger of being a teacher - teaching without reaching.

A group of 8 families gathered together in Kampar from Aug 7-9 a few weeks ago to process through what it means for us parents to play the role of thought leadership at home i.e. the urgent (and important) need for us to develop a Biblical Worldview starting from the very first verse of the Bible. While the kids had to their own fun time (under the capable leadership of Valerie Tan), the parents went through the Answers Academy curriculum where our "eyes" were open to the subtleness of worldly philosophies in education. How we need to reclaim back the glory which belongs to our Creator God!

What was the conclusion of this "Answers Retreat"? We as parents need to :

1. Reinforce the Authority of the Bible as the starting point of all our teaching.
2. Develop the Conviction of our children so that their faith in God becomes a personal one.
3. Build the right Thinking skills so that our children is able to discern error and communicate truth.

The Joy of Serving as a Family!

We spend a week in Sabah last week as part of a team from Alpha Malaysia organizing a 3-day Marriage Course Retreat for a group of pastors and their spouses. My wife and I love serving in The Marriage Course ministry as it not only keeps us together as a couple but also offers opportunity for us to travel and serve together as a family as well.

We are really proud of our two girls who sat attentively on their own - doing their own homeschooling work - while my wife and I serve the pastors during this retreat. In fact, the way I see it, this Marriage Course retreat is part of the "life classroom" for my daughters! By being passive observers of this ministry, Eliza and Eunice are receiving positive perception of the joys of being married plus observing for themselves in real life that great marriages are possible! This at the end of the day is what real education is all about, isn't it? Homeschooling gives us a wonderful platform to include "relational" elements which prepares them not only for intellectual pursuits but effective living as well.

The Faith of a Little Child

My six year old daughter, Eunice wrote me a series of "Dollar/Ringgit" notes since yesterday. One of the advantages of working from home is the opportunity to catch these moments of child-like truth that creates such a "warm-spot" in my heart! My training business has been somewhat affected by the current economic conditions and this fact is not unnoticed by those at home. Little did I know that my six year old cared enough to start printing money for her daddy so that - in her words - "Daddy will now have more money for the family."

You know something? Having this stack of hand-written "monetary notes" gives me a deep sense of richness that money cannot buy. It is true that life is a challenge and a struggle but that which is a trial should activate a certain child-likeness towards my Heavenly Father who is in control. "...for your Heavenly Father knows" (Matthew 6:32). Thank you God for your handwritten assurance through these notes which I believe is as solid as gold when transacted with eyes of faith. I serve a God who knows!

Effective Parenting : Discipline is about the 2 Cs

Discipline is not just about consequences. It has to do more with communication and consistency.

Click on the link below for a radio interview with Shazmin of BFM on this topic :

http://www.bfm.my/1150.html

Happy listening!

Answers Academy Session 2

It's wonderful to have families coming together to re-affirm our commitment to the Bible as the authoritative source for all areas of life and to reflect upon the dangers of being led astray by worldly, humanistic philosophies. Since most of our children are aged 12 and below, we see this as critical window for building strong foundations in the next generation - but it begins with the parents first. At the end of our session together, we walked away with the conviction that if we as Bible-believing parents do not provide ANSWERS which are based on Scripture as our starting point, then our children will be blown to-and-fro by any and every fancy worldview that comes along. I am thankful for this group of parents who are committed to teaching a Biblical Worldview to the next generation!

The Basic Principle of DESIGN

Feelings of inferiority has its roots when we cannot accept the "un-changeables" in us. One primary "un-changeable" is physical features. My heart cringes when I hear children calling each other names which belittle and demean another person's physical features - making fun of a person's nose, complexion, eyes etc.

Do not be surprised if you find your child paying too much attention on clothes and appearance - it may point to a feeling of bitterness that he or she is not grateful for the way that she looks. My job as a parent then is to re-assure my child and re-affirm to self-worth both to God and also to me. This is a teachable moment to emphasize that outward beauty is not related to inward happiness.

So much of what we see around us - the beauty pageants and the best-looking contests - sends a deceptive signal to our kids that if left unchecked will create a constant comparing attitude and distract them from what's really important. I am responsible to create an environment at home where my children are accepted and taught that they should be grateful for the way that God made them. God loves to write last chapters and it my role as a parent to disciple my children not to give up just after reading the "first chapter".

Our Origins Define Our Outlook

Spend time at a drug rehab center this morning addressing the topic on the origins of man. It was encouraging to hear the active questions being asked - which highlighted to me that the "rehabilitation process" covers more than just the physical aspect. Those who were there also had a high degree of intellectual curiosity to the validity of a Biblical woldview. They wanted to know who and where they came from - it is so satisfying to discover that the Bible has a great deal to say about our origins.

So, there is not only the renewal of the physical body that is part of the rehabilitation process, there is also a deeper need to "rehabilitate" the mind as well - with a Biblical view of creation. 

Answers Academy Session 1

My heart is thrilled to see a group of parents who are interested in transferring truth to the next generation! We officially started our first ANSWERS group meeting yesterday using the Answers Academy DVD-based curriculum. We can outsource the training of skills but when it comes to values and matters of faith - the best persons to do the job are the parents (especially the dads!). 

What was Chapter One covered yesterday? We touched on the difference between a naturalistic and a biblical worldview of life. Do we see God actively involved in the history of the world or have we reduced Him to just an afterthought? Instead of starting from the "truth" of man's opinion, we as parents need to train ourselves to base every area of our thinking based on Scripture. Then, we will have something worthwhile to pass on to the next generation.

The Ark is Completed (But the Memories Continue)

I never did enjoy doing jigsaw puzzles .. until I shared the enthusiasm of my daughters. Now that both of the Noah's Ark puzzle are completed (to my amazement and satisfaction), I now finally understand that it was not so much the puzzle itself - rather, it was the interaction, challenge and the fellowship that took place which is of primary importance. The process of play is more important than the product of play.

Furthermore, the accurate dimensions of the Ark provided a series of lively discussion about the impact of the Global Flood, how even dinosaurs could have even fit into the Ark! Doing these puzzles gave the added advantage of being a "value-transfer" process as well.

Here's the conclusion when it comes to choosing the type of play to engage with kids - choose activities which has the following criteria :

1. Creates opportunity for directed conversation.
2. Promotes the exchange of ideas and solutions.
3. Fun! - That's what memories are made of!