Dad, I am Watching ...

"Dad, are you listening?"

Writing Magic, Wonderful Moment

Friday afternoons are my "writing moments" with my eldest daughter, Eliza. There is a special connection which takes place during this time where we have fun expressing our thoughts, imagination and creativity in writing. You see, both of us love to write - when two persons share an interest, it is more than just a hobby - it has the potential of becoming something magical. For those who have an interest in exploring and expanding your writing flair (and have a fun time with your kids), consider getting Gail Carson Levine's "WRITING MAGIC". It is not a textbook on the science of writing. Rather, it is a very casual and "flowing" book that encourages exploration and experimentation.

The topic we did today was a fun one (something to do with friendship, marriage and love) - interestingly, Eliza was just so caught up with it and she just could not keep her pen down the entire evening. This "magic" is likely to persist for the days to come. Now, isn't this better than watching MTV?

To Eliza, she could be writing a fun story, for me, it is a magical memory in the making and moments such as this I cherish dearly.

Keep Your Nights in Sight

Had such a "nourishing" breakfast conversation with my brother-in-law this morning. One comment he made seemed just so practical - "If any of my friends want to catch up, I offer my lunch hour. The evenings are for the family." I find this boundary to be beneficial for the following reasons :

1. The lunch hour places a natural time restraint because people need to get back to work after that. This forces the conversation to be more intentional and purposeful. If done in the evening, there is a tendency to drift. "The night is still young" is that common excuse.
   
   
2. The temptation to drink (and over do it) is more prevalent during the evening hours. Furthermore, a certain type of "atmosphere" comes into play during the darker moments. So, the prayer of "lead us not into temptation" finds its preventive application here.
   
   
3. The need for closure. One of the better ways to "unwind" is to reflect on the happenings and events of the day with your loved ones. Evening conversations build those connective moments where values are clarified and conclusions are developed. Think about a gathering around the fireplace (figuratively for most of us!) and sharing stories - this should cement the point!

Yes - we guys go to work but don't bring work-to-go when we reach home. The evenings provide that window of endowment where we are given opportunities to deposit precious seeds in the lives of our wives and children. Ask yourself - "How can I expect to harvest if I do not sow?"

Crafting Family Time

Took time off yesterday morning for an "art attack" with the family. We had so much fun creating "character rocks" that I may consider making this a weekly event! One thing I learn from my wife is this : If it's important enough, it must be important enough to be scheduled in.

It is funny how we often complain that the kids grow up too fast and yet, it might be because we are too slow to schedule in the time for them! The extent of my commitment to my family can easily be revealed when one reads my appointment diary for the week. Making time is more than just doing something together - fundamentally, it is about creating memories and traditions that will stick - from one generation to the next. And this is a role that I as a father cannot afford to neglect.

The Greatest Blessing is Behavioral

When someone says - "You have a blessed family!" - what comes to your mind? A big house? A fantastic balance between career and kids? There is a certain kind of blessing which is far more satisfying than the accumulation of possessions and far more lasting than material goods.

It is the blessing of transformed behavior.

I have to constantly remind myself that what constitutes real success in my family is not good grades and a great business but the extent to which our individual behavior positively impacts those around us. And it begins with me. What signals am I sending as the leader of my household? What character qualities do I consistently demonstrate at home?

I can outsource the teaching of skills for my children to others but when it comes to teaching values and matters of the heart, I am the best person to do it. I can buy plenty of gifts for my wife but when it comes to reaching her heart, it is my consistent, thoughtful behavior that will make a difference.

They say that charity begins at home - I will add on to that - character training also begins at home and I am responsible to make it happen.

Converse Deep this Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year Holidays is just around the corner! Trouble is - there are so many things to do that when it is all over, we end up gaining a few pounds and if not careful, a sore throat as well - evidence that to eat & be merry may the order of the day. It's true that we sent plenty of New Year Greetings but do we have New Year Conversations?

For this coming New Year Holidays, I purpose to be more intentional in my conversations. Contact with friends and family abounds but I must be deliberate about making a connection rather than just eat peanuts and watch TV. How can this connection be done?

There are 3 questions which I will keep before me when conversing with others this New Year :

1. What are your goals in life?
2. What hinders you from achieving those goals?
3. Do you have any word of advice for me?

May the above questions open up a wealth of meaningful conversations for you this New Year. Remember, right questions asked sincerely build bridges of relationships.